Gen IV Chapter 36 - To Bury With Fear


A week has passed since she returned home and the nightmares still haunt her as she tries to sleep. Meilin's cries from her crib are a welcome relief, reminding her that she's home, erasing her fear of waking up somewhere else again. Aerie feels herself jump a bit as her cell startles her out of her daydream.

She takes it out and let's out a sigh as she answers it. “Ms. Ryuzaki, we cannot hold the body much longer. If plans are not made within the week it will be released to the state.” Aerie nods as her face retains it's blank state. She knows she doesn't have much time, she's grateful the owner of the funeral home was a friend of her mothers. He never asked why she was procrastinating, but apparently even he can only hold things off for so long.



Needing some fresh air and to take her mind off things for a moment she dropped Meilin off at Claire's for a couple of hours and enjoyed a late lunch. Though she wondered why the server at Mc' Plumbob's looked at her the way she did. “I only ordered a little more than the usual” thought Aerie to herself. “Just a couple double-quarter pounders with a large fry and coke...”

“Well, maybe it was a little much” she mumbled to herself as she entered her kitchen for a snack. “I need to get changed, since when were these jeans so snug?” She loosened her belt a bit and sighed in relief. “Wait a sec..” the said out loud, as she felt her midsection. “I just bought these a couple of weeks ago!” Her eyes widened as she realized she had put on weight. “On second thought, maybe I'll do without the snack.”



As she returned from picking up Meilin she sat in the kitchen and let out another long sigh, “I'm spending too much time in here.. Maybe it's time for a diet.” She knew the reason she had drifted in the kitchen, and it wasn't to go on a fridge raid. She closed her eyes for a long moment as she took her cell and dialed the coroners number. “I'm sorry I waited so long mom” the whispered to herself as the line continued to ring, “you've been waiting to lay next to dad for years now.” As the owner of the funeral home picked up. Her eyes watering a bit as she began making funeral arrangements.



With the arrangements made she hung up the phone and nearly lost her lunch on the floor. The thought of burying her mother racked her with nausea.



It wasn't much longer before she found herself throwing up her entire lunch, her eyes watered and nose burned. It took quite some time before she felt well enough to leave the bathroom.



Two days later Aerie had somehow managed to put on her makeup, do her hair, and find something in her closet that didn't feel like it was suffocating her. “Since when did I let myself go?” she wondered, shaking her head at the loose fitting dress. She couldn't remember the last time she hit the gym, it was before she became pregnant with Meilin. Clearly it was time to get back to it once the funeral was over.

As she heard the cars pull in she felt nauseous all over again, she closed her eyes and felt her forehead for a fever. “Can't feel anything” she muttered to herself silently. “Is everything ok?” Asked Eowyn as she stepped in with Aerie's grandfather. “You don't seem well.” Her eyes trailed to the dirty laundry on the floor, and the house in general looked as if it could use a good cleaning. “Of course I'm not ok, I'm burying my mom!” snapped Aerie. Her eyes quickly lowering as tears welled.



After a moment of awkward silence Aerie held her gaze to the floor, “I'm sorry, It's just been a rough week..” “No, you don't need to apologize Aerie” replied Eowyn in a calm reassuring voice, the last month has been rough.” Aerie's grandfather stood silently, trying to asses the situation while Claire cleared her throat from the back. “Let's just move on shall we? It's what mom would want.”



Claire merely stood at the gravestone and said a few silent words that only she and the grave would hear. It wasn't difficult to figure out she was cried out weeks ago. Aerie on the other hand was tearing up before she even made her approach.



Everyone thought it best to give her space and waited on the deck to allow her some privacy. Tears fell moments after she wiped the old ones away. “I miss you so much” she managed to sob in a shaky voice that she could barely hear herself. “You loved me even with all the shit I got into, I know I had to be hell to raise.. You even loved Meilin without asking much about how it happened, you loved her regardless of my fuck-ups. I love you mom, I miss you so much.-” Her words cutting off as she broke down, the strength in her legs betraying her.



Claire slowly descended the stairs and knelt down to hold her sister. She'd rarely seen Aerie cry over anything, let alone break down. Eowyn gave them a long moment before joining them, helping them onto their feet. Eowyn gave Claire a firm look, “let's give her a moment with your grandmother shall we?” The two Joined Claire & Aerie's grandfather in the front yard as they made the final arrangements to have Iris buried next to Tattiel.

Aerie stood red-eyed from crying, barely able to stand; her eyes trained on her grandmother Jodie as she seemed lost in thought. She stared at her face, noticing her iron composure as not a single hint of a tear was to be seen. “How can you stand here like that!?” Aerie snapped, breaking the silence, your own daughter-” “My daughter is dead.” Interruped Jodie. “I can stand here like this now because I have spent the last two weeks crying myself dry. If you think this is hard, imagine having to bury your own child.”

“I did not ask to speak with you in here, during her funeral of all things unless it was important. And it is not something either of us would want to discuss in front of anyone else. I know you will not agree with me on this, and you have been through enough already. No, in fact, you have been through too much, far too much...” Aerie stared at her a moment, “what do you-” “I know Aerie” Interrupted Jodie, “and when I say I know, I mean I know about what happened to you a week and a half ago.” Aerie's eyes widened as she started to say something, but Jodie raised a hand and motioned for her to keep quiet. It wasn't until then that Aerie noticed Jodie was avoiding eye contact with her, and she could see her eyes getting a little glossy, tears welling up in her grandmother's eyes as she was clearly recalling what she was told.

“I won't sit here and tell you how badly I want to find this person, and I won't go into detail as to what I would do to him if I found him. But I am taking precautions for any and all possible results from such things.” “What do you mean by results?” Questioned Aerie, her nausea picking up a little worse than before. “You think I don't notice the fact you're wearing something like that to your mothers funeral? You're my granddaughter, I pay attention to all the little things, including your fashion sense.”

Aerie felt her face flush as it was brought up, “it's nothing serious, I haven't exercised since before Meilin was born. With everything that's happened I've been pigging out, it's embarrassing but I'll-” “You think it's because you haven't been exercising?” Interrupted Jodie, her eyes glaring into Aeries for a moment. “I know this won't be easy to ask you, and I know you never reported your... Your...” “You don't have to say it” whispered Aerie, “but no, I never went to the police about it.”

“Have you gone to the hospital for an examination?” Aerie shook her head no, slowly. “I know you don't want to even begin such a possibility, but if you are... Expecting... You need to know.” Aerie shook her head slowly, fresh tears streaming all over again. “No” she whispered, her bottom lip quivering as she fought to keep from breaking down. “No, I can't be.. I'm not. I couldn't take it. I've been through a lot grandma Jodie, a lot. You know that, but I.. No... Even I couldn't take something like that.” “All the more reason why I'm taking you to the hospital to get checked out. Tomorrow.”



Aerie continued shaking her head no, even after the words stopped coming out. Jodie wrapped her arms around her and held her. “I'm telling you I'm not grams, I'm not. I'm just not..” “Shhh...” whispered Jodie, “I hope you're right sweety, but we have to be sure. Nothing wrong with putting on a few pounds, but let's hope that's all it is.”

After everyone left and Meilin was playing in the living room Aerie made herself a cup of coffee, despite the fact it was nearly 9pm. The nightmares had been worse lately, and she didn't want to go to sleep. Once coffee was on she headed upstairs and found a comfy shirt and PJ pants. She sat and enjoyed her coffee in silence, trying to take her mind from the new possibility and worry that her grandmother mentioned just a few hours ago.



Not feeling at ease despite the good cup of coffee, Aerie made her way into the living room and sat with Meilin. She smiled as her daughter glared at her with big hopeful eyes. “Mama better?”



Aerie felt that odd combination of nausea and sadness churning again. “I've been crying way too much lately” she sighed to herself as she stared at Meilin. “Mama might have a baby inside her” she whispered to Meilin, forcing a smile, though a pathetic one. “Baby!” shouted Meilin, “Yes, baby, very good sweety.” She noticed Meilin's vocabulary was getting bigger, and she was almost able to have a genuine smile because of it.

“Mama like baby! Mama want baby?” Aerie shook her head slowly, “no sweety, mama no want another baby.. Mama-” She cut herself off and forced herself to keep her mouth closed as she shook her head. Warm tears dripping on Meilin's forehead as she leaned to kiss her, silently hoping tomorrows appointment would prove her doubts wrong.




4 comments:

  1. Awww, the end... awww!

    Well... on to the next.

    The funeral was so sad :( It is really tough on everyone to loose someone so ... great.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Iris really was the sim who kept the family together through the households. It will be interesting to see how Aerie fills the gap. :)

      Delete
  2. Funerals are always hard, but I think they are sadder when the relationship between the living and the deceased wasn't a smooth sailing one, like with Aerie and Iris, I imagine there was still a lot left unsaid between them.

    Oh oh, Aerie's pregnant again, I wonder if she'll love this child considering the circumstances surrounding its existence.

    Great chapter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Val,

      I agree, I'm sure there was a lot left unsaid between them. I wish she would have lived a bit longer.. But I intentionally keep aging on and at a normal pace. It keeps time flowing normally. That is a tough question, Aerie's emotions are already a wreck. She probably won't know how she feels about loving the baby until the day it's born.

      Thanks for reading!

      Delete

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