Healing

From Iris' POV


All I heard was the screeching of tires as I ran frantically to the street... Out of breath I arrived to feel all life leave me, my thoughts drowned out by my own screams as my baby lay motionless in the street. So much blood... I was no doubt in shock and I thank the simgods a witness to the accident dialed 119. They arrived not even a minute later and pulled me away from her, my hands soaked in my own daughters blood as I held her crying.

Not once, but twice she died right there in the street, but they were able to bring her back both times. Words can not express what I was going through, heaven knows I can't explain it. It wasn't until Claire came running to the street that I snapped out of it. I ran and grabbed her still crying, there was no way I was going to let her see Aerie like that. We arrived at the hospital seconds after the ambulance, and I thank them for not giving me a ticket because I was definitely speeding.

9 broken bones, multiple torn ligaments and muscle tissue, severe concussion, unspeakable trauma, internal bleeding and not to mention a massive amount of blood loss. Needless to say I was a wreck beyond explanation, I just sat there in the trauma 1 bay holding Claire. “Pray with me sweetie, please.” was all I could whisper between my tears. I don't think either of us prayed that hard in our lives before, she knew I was scared, and I was too shaken up to try and hide it.

3 hours later a nurse came outside and told me that she died again, but they once again were able to bring her back. “Your daughter's a fighter” she whispered, “we've never seen a child fight so hard to survive. She's not stable yet, but it's looking better.” All I could do was nod and keep praying with Claire, it was the longest 7 ½ hours of my life.

It was then that the doctors said she was stable but would remain in ICU until further notice, it must have still been very bad, they wouldn't even let me in to see her before I left. The next few days were very difficult, and it was then that I realized that Aerie wasn't the only one with trauma, despite how quickly I swept her up, I knew Claire saw it; all that blood...

I did my best to comfort her, but I could only do so much, and I wasn't exactly convincing. My hands were still shaking and I know she felt it, Claire is very bright for her age. “She'll be alright sweetie” was all I could whisper in the most calming tone I could muster, but Claire's eyes told me otherwise, she was worried sick.



Over the next couple of weeks I would catch her just staring blankly... She didn't want to tinker, go to the junk yard or anything. She barely even talked to me, the only time I saw her smile was when I would catch her staring at Tattiels unfinished work. * sigh * I had to pay the coroner to keep Tattiels body in cryo, it's very expensive, but I can't even begin to think of making funeral arrangements right now. I can't even get my 12 year old daughter to talk to me, let alone plan anything.



I finally had to do something, Claire's eyes were just so dark, the spark was gone and I wanted her to get it back. I finally cornered her in the kitchen after dinner and had a talk with her. “When will she come home?” she asked, not even looking at me when she said it. “the doctors said she can come home in a few more weeks, she's healing hun. Her casts come off her legs and arm next week, and she has two weeks of physical therapy after that. Then she can come home and play with you.” I saw a faint glimpse of a smile that made my heart melt, it was the first positive sign she showed since the accident.



The hardest part was the waiting, especially when the three weeks turned to six and beyond. Finally, after 11 weeks in the hospital they released Aerie. She passed her physical just fine and the doctor said she will make a full recovery, I don't know how long I cried after hearing that great news. I thought things would get easier after that, but I couldn't be more wrong. She was home, but she was unresponsive, she spent her days just laying in bed and refused to talk to anyone, not even Claire. It hurt me to watch my daughter grab her leg & wince in pain during her sleep, the doctors said the bones are healed, but the muscle damage will take longer.




They told me to keep an eye out as well, she passed all of her mental exams just fine, but still warned me to keep an eye out for abnormal behavior. Not a night went by that I didn't spend some time staring at her while she slept, trying to think of what more I could do. It just isn't right, no parent should see their child go through something this painful...



I can't thank the simgods enough for blessing me with my parents, we haven't spoken much until the family reunion, but since then we have become quite close. Not a night went by that they didn't spend time with Claire and I while Aerie was in the hospital, though dad really spent most of the time with Claire. He did his best to make her smile and try to forget what happened. Mom had her sights on me and I thank her for it, if it wasn't for her I don't think I would have kept it together as well as I did.

She constantly told me, “I know it's hard, but you need to set your pain aside and do what you can for your daughters. You will be able to mourn in time, but you are the only thing they have left. You have to support them and love them for both yourself and Tattiel. He's still with you in spirit, but you're going to have to shoulder this mantle. I'll help in any way I can, but if you break, so will your daughters. You need to be their rock, their pillar of support, as I am yours.”



Making due emotionally wasn't easy, but eventually Aerie spoke to us again. It was slow and gradual, but she was able to make her way around the house just fine. A couple weeks later, after much planning we held Tattiels funeral. It was hard, really hard. I even dressed the girls in their dresses... The last gifts Tattiel ever gave them, they arrived in the mail 2 days after his death. Apparently he sent them from a village in France before he left to that airport... Still, they were beautiful and they fit just right... * sob * He loved his girls so much...




Darius and Liliah were the first to show up, others came after, but I was too broken up to notice.




Eowyn started the funeral with an opening prayer and speech, it was so beautiful... I don't dare repeat her words, it wouldn't do her speech justice. Besides, only family should hear those heartfelt words she spoke as she wiped away what seemed to be tears of blood.



I did my best to oversee the funeral, though I really didn't need to, it was family only. My real goal was to keep an eye on the girls, if they needed a shoulder to cry on I wanted to be right there. I especially had my eye on Aerie, Claire loved her father just as much, but Aerie didn't just lose a father and friend. She also had the horror of going through that accident.



The sight of Aerie clutching her little chest as she mourned was enough to send tears down my cheeks all over again. As I headed towards her I felt a hand on my shoulder stopping me, and I turned to see Elsa's daughter Claire. “I'll go check on her, you need to take time to grieve” she whispered. I don't know why I didn't just ignore her and check on Aerie, but the next thing I knew I was at Tattiel's grave and I couldn't stop. I cried. Hard.





Eowyn and my daughter Claire were right behind me. We held each other and just cried, the love of my life is gone, and there's nothing I could do about it.



After crying my eyes out I needed to head inside and clean my glasses. It was then that Youseff gave me a heartwarming smile and said “everything will heal in time. It hurts now, but give it time, it will heal.” I don't know why I was comforted by those words, but since he lost his wife Elsa not too long ago I'm sure he knew how I felt.



His daughter Claire picked up an old guitar that was in the study, she said it was Tattiel's mothers. She tried her best to play a cheerful song for us, but I guess it was the thought that counts. Darius must have been reminiscing, because he had the warmest smile I had ever seen from him.




I was thinking of calling an end to the funeral when I turned to see Ali out on the back porch. He was staring silently at something, I didn't know what, but something told me to go check it out.



As I stepped outside I felt the warm summer breeze cool the tears on my cheeks. It carried the sound of sobbing and soft crying, as I stared out I saw the tiny frame of my daughter Claire. She was still at Tattiels tombstone... I started for her when I felt Ali's hand on my shoulder, “she'll come to you. Of that I am sure, but for now, let her grieve in her own way, ok aunty?”



I consented to his request, but only because I knew he was right, so I headed to the kitchen and made some Earl Grey tea. I let the aroma do it's best to calm me as I took a deep breath. Everyone was heading home and as usual my mom told me to call her in a couple of hours. Still, I had a lot on my mind and only a few days of bereavement left at work.



I tucked the girls to bed and kissed them both on their tear-stained cheeks. “Good night, I love you so much” I whispered as I kissed them on their foreheads as well. It was then that I called the coroner to take Tattiels coffin to the graveyard for me. I stood in the entrance myself, feeling the breeze flow through my hair. “I'll do my best” I whispered to Tattiel, “I'll raise them and love them, for both of us...”



Until next chapter...


9 comments:

  1. first comment :3

    great chapter yet again, really happy that Aerie is just about
    all better, yes the pain will go, no matter how long it will go :3

    ReplyDelete
  2. I actually started tearing up a bit here :(
    great update though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I found myself getting teary-eyed while I was proofreading... I know how you feel!

      Delete
  3. Great chapter. Quite moving, well written. I love her promise to Tattiel <3

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tai, this was so emotional.

    little Claire crying :'(

    But, im excited to see what teenagers they'll turn out to be.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Very sad chapter, they are dealing with such tremendous loss. Thanks goodness Aerie recovered.

    ReplyDelete
  6. that was a great chapter!!!! you had me in floods of tears again :/
    I am glad Aerie is ok!!

    ReplyDelete

Welcome to the Ryuzaki family blog.

To all of you new and potential readers, welcome. As some of you may have some questions, I shall endeavor to answer them ahead of time as best I can. I accept and welcome all feedback & comments, both positive and negative. I am always thinking of ways to improve my writing, and your feedback directly affects the changes I may or may not make. If you are a new reader you will soon notice that the first 2 generations were not posted here on blogspot. I originally posted them in my LJ, but as I release newer chapters, they will be here on blogspot. I thank you for your understanding.



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